Do You Know ‘X’ on Twitter?

January 21, 2013

Do You Know SHUT UP On Twitter?

I love Twitter, but Twitter doesn’t love me back. I’ve got lots of Twitter accounts attached to lots of email addresses: @mangosquash, @boomreactive, @bathtubtuna, @innuendolympics, @beckerwedding, @kubeklassik, @henrymeoww, etc… Most of these are single-event or novelty twitter accounts that I don’t maintain or tweet from, but I like having them.

Here’s what I don’t like: Getting hundreds of stupid emails from Twitter for no reason. I swear that I deselect all of the email boxes every time I sign up for a new Twitter profile, especially the ones in the “Updates from Twitter” section. But somehow, when I go back into these accounts, some boxes are checked. How does this happen?

My best guess (and It’s just a guess) is that sometimes they add options and you’re opted into them automatically. You then have to log into Twitter.com (something I try never to do) and opt out. When you’ve got 7 accounts, this process is kind of daunting – I understand that this is my fault, but it’s not something I think I should have to do.

The worst kind of email I get on a weekly basis from almost all of my accounts are “Do you know ‘X’ on Twitter?”

Think about that sentence. What does that mean? If I knew someone, I would know them. I wouldn’t know them on Twitter. If I had met someone through Twitter and that was my only point of reference with that person, I’d know them through Twitter. I wouldn’t know them on Twitter. Either I know someone or I don’t. Twitter has nothing to do with it. AND If I accept the terminology and I know someone on Twitter I’d already be following them.

After the subject line, it posits “Some people you may know on Twitter” which is still nonsense. What they mean here is “Some people you may know who are on Twitter”

Here are some better suggestions for subject lines:
Do you know ‘X’? They’re on Twitter!
‘X’: some Twitter users we think you might know
Follow your friends: Do you know ‘X’?

Or better yet, just stop sending me these emails.

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